brain, interrupted.

i got banged.

2006-04-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

i got banged.

*dusting, dusting. last few wipes. there.*

so finally, i decide to talk. after god knows how long.

and i lost. and lost again. but it's all good. a million years ago, i would've felt really bad. but that was a million years ago. now, i learned to eat and sleep and drink my way through stress. thank god for rhum coke. keeps me grounded. albeit drunk. but still grounded.

*you stupid spider! you think you're getting away? splat.*

i've stressed myself out so much during the last year (school year, that is) that i literally ended it with tears. i was so inexplicably happy that my 2nd year was finally over. after going through hell and back, getting a root canal sounds so much better than living through that the 2nd time around. not that i didn't learn anything. or that i didn't enjoy. cause i did. uber. it was that sweet taste of ecstasy (guys. hindi e. ecstasy as in kasayahan) mixed with the bitterness of defeat plus that hint of rhum coke that kept me going. it was practically pushing me to outdo myself. even if it might mean failure. it egged me till i was all out of blood, sweat, tears and whatever ungodly bodily fluids i had left. bile, gastric juice, pee. name it, i let it all out last year.

*falls into a dreary recollection of last last week's kaskade event in manila*

pier one was a blast. as usual, bangenge nanaman kaming lahat. but it was a decent drink, if i do say so myself. i have this stupid habit of keeping tabs on what i drink. that way, i know i hafta pee after the nth glass or bottle or whatnot. a bottle of strong ice, two glasses of rhum coke, a sip of stacy's bangenge (or was it a gulp?), three glasses of wengweng. i did everything by the book. water after every glass of alcohol. more trips to the cr than what your friendly neighborhood doctor prescribes. i ate my way through a deadly serving of chicharon bulaklak (yum. deadly, but yum.). i swear i did everything.

by the time i got to coconut palace, i was dead drunk. but i managed to brave another glass of rhum coke- which i wasn't able to finish (hundred bucks down the drain). sometime between a painfully second rate set from the superfly djs and my kaskade anthem for the night (..there's something that takes place, whenever we embrace. i'm hoping that you take this chance. steppin' out to dance..), i remember having that piercing headache that banged with the booming bass of the speakers. i just had to excuse myself to go to the comfort room.

and there i was, inside the painfully cramped cubicle, sitting on the toilet (with the seat down. please. you seriously think i'd overshare?), my head throbbing like there was no tomorrow. i was waiting for kaskade cause it took a while for him to start his sets. i was there for a solid 30 minutes, just sitting down, waiting for godknowswhat. then i hear those beautiful words.

"blah blah blah, world's blah blah pfft pfft tsss. kaskade!!!"

so fine. i didn't really understand a thing, but he said kaskade. i gussied myself and stood from the toilet. and then 'bang'. i hit my head on the door. i was trying to regain my composure (it's not like anyone saw me. but whattheheck.) when 'bang'. i hit my head again- it was the wall this time. what happened next came as no surprise. good thing i was able to lift the lid up. every last morsel of food and every single drop of alcohol in my system decided it was not yet time for the final frontier. so they decided to get out for one last time. party with kaskade. what fun.

"cuss words, cuss words, mumble, mumble."

no sense of coherence the whole time. but i was wasted, so i have an excuse. but i managed to get out of the cubicle alive and shake my groove thang. eew. that sounds totally off.

and now, here i am in texas. two weeks later and a whole lotta sober-er. hahaha. i see my english still ain't so bad.

2005-09-26T07:04:00.000-07:00

reality bites (gnaws, chews, then spits me out)

you think you know, but hell, you have no freaking idea.. i'm a mess, waiting for the next crap which i know fate has to throw at me. i'm miserable beyond words, and they haven't even left. i miss them already. my house starts to look desolate, every memory-infused corner not like what it used to be. a desk that used to be here, the stained coffee table there. they're all in boxes, bound and ready to get deported (or at least sent) to texas. my home is starting to feel really cold and melancholic. and the worst part is, i'm not so sure i want to be left behind.

party schmarty. this is no party. at all. i thought i was more than ready. i thought i had my practice living my ass off in the condo. but it's not even close. don't even get me started on the finances. i never heard the words budget and json used together in a single sentence. well, until yesterday. i know i can handle this. i can compute a friggin' accounting problem. how can it be any diff from this?

its my parent's dough. that's the diff. one stupid blunder and i might just wipe out my entire family's chance at having a decent future.

who knew you can get stressed without doing so much? sitting here and typing gives me the chills. the screen's getting flooded with too many words that my mind can't even begin to process (thus, if there's anything wrong with my english, screw it. i could care less right now. maybe in another time, but not now.)

driving home a while ago, i was asking myself if i was ready. i knew i was. the brave (albeit stupid) json was squirming to shout yes. but the coward (albeit logical) json knew this was something i've never done alone.

"umiyak ka kaya pag alis nila papa mo?" goes my aunt, one of the few quiet people in my family's despedida last friday.

i shrugged my head and laughed it off. i couldn't possibly even come close to that.

but when i got to our garage, seeing towers of boxes all scribed with sizes and whatever the content was all piled up and towering left me lost. i was this close to letting some tears go (only the maid took all her time opening the gate so i ended up losing the moment to anger). so what's it going to be like this sunday? i dunno. i have no idea.

all i can do is pray. at least i know He's going to be there for me.

after dropping carpool people off at provost and bringing two of them home, maita and i were on our way to the wake of her friend's dad. i got so scared i felt like crying. i didn't think it possible, but there i was, sitting by myself and looking at the casket and a million thoughts flooded my brain. i had no idea why i had this rush, but i got a grip on myself and decided against doing anything stupid.

and now, i'm scared out of my wits.

i dunno.

i really don't.

2005-09-10T05:08:00.000-07:00

the monster

Everyone who knew me was surprised to find out that I turned out to be an archer, when I was so set on being a blue-blooded eagle. It was so out of the blue (pardon the color irony), that I even surprised myself at that time. Though I’ve now been struck by the harsh reality, part of me was actually embarrassed to have ended up as a Lasallian (a stupid idea, but I was way ignorant at that point- times have changed, and I’ve been introduced to the living hell known as accounting). And more than once (more like every other day), my Lasalle friends and I have talked about our bitterness over Ateneo.

But what if I were in Ateneo?

“Then you wouldn’t have met us!” muses my friend, and she has a point.

And so their long rhetoric begins on how I would be so clueless on a million different things, how I’d still be the goody-goody guy from the “smart school” (that’s according to my damned friends), how I’d be, well, Json. The same dude you’ve all come to know, yung hindi makapagsalita ng matinong Tagalog na hindi na natutong mag-notes so I basically financed the entire photocopying industry at cramming lang ang inaatupag. Yung Json na yun.

And the scary part is, I’m actually kind of glad that I changed (saying that I did a little bit would be the understatement of the year). I’m twenty pounds lighter, I might as well not be a scholar with the things I’ve been doing, I barely even study plus all that added sh*t you can’t even begin to imagine. I’ve become a monster (a la Jay Hernandez in Crazy/Beautiful sans the sex and drugs). When my friends introduce me to other people as Json the scholar, they’d give me a look over then end up with a puzzled look on their face. One teacher even went as far as laughing her head off when she heard them say that. A million years ago, I might have been offended, but I got used to it already. To hell with those people, I could care less if they existed.

Though I still don’t take down notes, pretty much everything has changed.

“If you didn’t end up in Lasalle, then you’d still be a geek!” shouts another friend, absorbed in a text message but managing to listen in on the conversation. Everyone agrees unanimously, and I can’t help but feel the same way.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons. But I know there’s something more to it than that.

I just want to get something off my chest. I’m so embarrassed by what I have to say that I even planned on remaining anonymous and posting it on the moshies blog. It’s that discomforting.

I’d like to lead myself to believe that I’ve moved on. I’ve moved on from a family I kept for four whole years, with all the misguided shenanigans and beautiful mischief that came with having more than thirty smart-alecks as classmates (every single dunce completing mi beloved familia). I miss my family, but not as much as one would expect of a die-hard Moshie. And it scares me to bits because I’ve no idea why I feel, or rather- not feel this way. Could I have become a monster with no heart as well?

I am in desperate need of answers.

I know some people will get offended, pero sanay na naman ata ako na napapaaway. It’s my innate ability to piss off people and screw things up.

what's your chori?

2005-08-03T04:24:00.000-07:00

what's your chori?

it's just shameful how some people use, or better yet, misuse the english language. thing is, if you can't, you just can't brother. so let it go already!

take this for example.

prof: so what do you think about his boss?

student: sirrrr, i believe he's a chori ekkks.

nope, that's not short for the chorizo burgers of bora, nor mahal's lucid attempt at saying sorry (it might as well could be). that's theory with an emphasis on the first syllable for you unknowing dimwit. shameful. just shameful.

*written by one of my blockmates

"This was noted from a professor in DLSU. He's name is Prof. (name omitted for obvious reasons)"

what the f*ck is up with that?! and the thing is, he got a higher grade than me. it's so unbelievably foul. ouch. double ouch.

fine, i have my mispronounced syllables, grammaritical errors and rong sphellings, but these things are just plain inexcusable. we are after all, the world's third largest English-speaking nation, so while we're at it, let's try getting it right. i sound so condescending and all, but sometimes, the things people say just make me shiver. it's like a cold trickle of water down your spine first thing in the morning- it's much too painful to bear.

i have another pet peeve that irks me so much but i'm quite aware that a few of my friends do it also so i'd rather shut up. i know only a few people actually share my sentiments on this one, but helllllllooo, it's too cutesy-fartsy crappy ugh. stop trying to act like you're ten, it's not cute. at all. so puh-lease, get a grip.

i don't have the vaguest idea why i was suddenly spurred to write this post. maybe it's just the chori incident. or maybe because i'm the meanest person alive. whatever it is, i couldn't care any less. so long as these people stop murdering the language.

how bout you, what's your chori on this one? hmmm...

2005-07-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

father json

i am so many things. but more than anything else in the whole world, the general nuisance is, bound to be, the little kid he was some ten years ago.

who i was back then bears no physical resemblance (i was short ok. and miserably frail.) to what i am now. but what made me say this was the fact that my life was so simple back then.

"anong gusto mong maging pagtanda mo?" my lola muses, seeing me staring blankly at the wallclock.

"gusto ko La, maging parang si Father Pupu. Mayaman kasi siya e." I respond, sending my lola into a laughing frenzy.

"oh sige. ngayon, tawag ko na sayo, Father Json. Ok ba Father?" lola muffles a laugh, a brilliant spark in her deep black eyes.

it was to me, a simple question, one that needed a simple answer. and being the wise cracking kid that i was, i told my lola the truth. to this day (even when she's making her wonderful gulaman for God already), i can sometimes hear her uttering a "yes father" to my every whim to Him. but what my lola never found out was that i enjoyed every single one of our talks. i delighted myself in her laugh, it never failed to tickle every inch of my body. i know she's bugging St. Peter to temporarily rent her his computer in exchange of a week's supply of her pink gulaman. that way, she can read my blog- and i'm sure she won't be too thrilled with most of the things i've been doing. sorry La.

moving on.

it was that unmistakble innocence that i thought i lost that brought me back to all those pleasant childhood memories. take it from me, getting wasted (refer to previous post) leaves a lot of room for introspection. i stared at my reflection for a really long time, and besides my blinking and the constant rise and fall of my breath, the room stood still. it was waiting for me to make the first move

"do you like what you're seeing?" asked the dude on the mirror.

no, i wasn't talking about my natural good looks. and no, i'm not half as conceited as i seem. hehe

as much as i wanted to say yes, i felt like i was missing out on something. modesty aside, i have a few things i can be proud of. but there have been one too many that i'd rather not tell most people, things only my good friends know.

so i wanted to say a little prayer to my lola, hoping she'd help me get over all these excess baggage i've been carrying around for what seems like eternity.

help me to be strong
so i can be strong not just for them, but for myself as well

help me to be wise
so i can be more like you and less of my destructive self

help me to be obedient
so i become what mama and papa prayed for before i was born

but most of all

help me to be me
so i can proudly say that i've always been honest

La, i wish you can read what father has to say.

i swear, i can almost hear her saying "yes father."

2005-07-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

i've never been so screwed in my entire life.

in a f*cked up world of ditzy idiots and apathetic screw-ups like me, bad things are meant to happen. all the time. the past weekend was, suffice to say, the most eventful weekend to ever have happened in my life. and it's not good. at all.

friday was a huge struggle for me. i promised a friend that i'd go to u.p. for a concert, a promise i made in exchange of all those that i broke before. but in my screwed up world, i'm only meant to screw more things up (i can't get screw out of my vocab). though i was raving to go and all, my mom didn't allow me to go up north. she thought it would be "too dangerous" (to quote my mom)- with all the rallies and crap happening all over the metro. she wasn't too thrilled with the idea of me commuting to quezon city and getting hit with a flaming piece of wood or something. i knew it was far-fetched, but hey, it's my mom. they're made to exaggerate. i kept on texting her the whole day, wishing she'd somehow change her mind and let me go. but noooooooo. i'm stuck in my house.

i was so bad trip that day that i had to resort to something that would calm my nerves. by some mixed up twist of fate, my friends and i ended up in green place (the oh-so-famous green place- where wonders happen) and the logical thing to do was to sit this one out and let them drink for all i could care. but i've ran out of logic (it's not even a surprise anymore) and temptation got the best of me. we went home after five glasses (actually, i remember drinking that much but then i lost track after the fifth glass), two petty fights, one major breakdown and zero dough. friday was just wrong. whatever way you look at it, i was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
good thing i had enough sense in me to actually drive my car home from town. i was already steady by the time i got to alabang.

saturday started like any other day. i actually did something good that morning (i brought my brothers to the doctor to get jc a meningo vaccine then i brought jacob to ayala for his practice), but no good deed goes unpunished. later that day, i went to asian to help my friend with her accounting business case and got home at around five to get ready for a party in ayala. seven thirty i was out of my house and picking up people from all over alabang (from bf to alabang hills to hillsborough to ayala-literally all over). at nine we finally got to the house (more like mansion) and there were some people here and there. we were actually early, but at least we had our pick at the buffet table.

and then it happened. one glass, two. three. then i lost track (actually, if my memory serves me right- i had 4 rhum cokes, 3 tequila sunrises and a shot of hombre). all i can remember was dancing with my friends and some random people. then finding a spot to rest my aching head on. then people crowding around me. i was already in my car, i couldn't drive myself home and everyone saw me drunk and just plain gone. good thing i had good friends (i owe them big time). they brought me home, parked my car and made sure i got to my bed alive.

how bad was it? my curfew's now at 9. 'nough said.

what goes around come around. i am screwed for life.

p.s.: to my friend: i'm really sorry. i screwed up big time.

2005-06-13T08:11:00.000-07:00

spoiled nutcase

too many thoughts can spoil the nut (and the nutcase in this uhm, case.)

so, instead of wasting what's left of my useless brain, i'll just write down my thoughts in the hopes of coming up with a decent post.

it has occured to me that everyone these days has been writing about their scheds and/or subjects this term. so i'll be the partypooper that i am and write about anything but that. i just love myself (evil snicker). dont you?

prepare yourself for the most unbelievably stupid post ever made by any human being.

there's this question that has plagued my hapless mind for the longest time already, and almost everyone gives quite a different answer from the last. let's say, you're invited to a party. and the invites specifically said that the motif would be periwinkle blue or orange rust or some oddball color. do you actually wear the same color as the motif or go for a different one? many people have told me that the reason the celebrant most probably included the motif was to get the people to wear colors that would match the party (and the tablecloth, and the flowers, and the lights, and the... you get the point). but in my own opinion, (and a handful of other pasaways very much like myself), it's the exact opposite. i'd rather stand out a handful of people than to blend in with the walls. i've noticed that the running trend is not just to become wallpaper, but to be the wallpaper. come on people! use your brain! this, ahem, writer (i'm so absorbed in my egoistic self) thinks that we waste our precious neurons on the pettiest things (e.g.: accounting and stat) but fail to come up with decent decisions when it comes to the really important things that matter (e.g. where and what to eat). why would you want to be part of the party decor? i'd rather be pasaway if that was the case.

no thanks to you, i've made the world one less step away from becoming stupider. don't i just deserve an award?

"you love me! you really, really love me..."

who knew i could get even more pathetic?

2005-06-06T04:50:00.000-07:00

whaddaheck

i decided, against my better judgement, to post an update. whaddaheck, i've nothing to lose.

school's well on its way, three weeks into my second year baby! nothing to be too amped about, the usual things we college students go through in a day (yabang! college daw..) i've done a complete turnaround, from being the diligent, studious guy that i used to be (says who? studious my *ss!), to the lax, carefree, happy-go-lucky kid that i now am. back then, i'd bring aroud school my bag full of whatever thingamajig you can think of. but i've gone the tamad way, and now, all i have is a book, a pen and a thickler (on a good day, that is. bad days, let's just say i go to school with the essentials- my wallet and my sirang phone).

all the while, i thought i would get more chances to cut my classes this term. but noooo. json got stuck with teachers who give plus points for perfect attendance (one even gives deductions for absences). so to hell with cuts. i don't know if the unlimited cuts and absences rule still applies to these cases, but i'd rather not find out.

i love college. i love my friends. i love my school. i love my freedom. i love my authority (now that i'm a sophomore). i love everything there is to love about college. spontaneous tagays in green place. pig out sessions in agno (to all the lasallians out there: you have to try debbie's! it's the absolute best! it's in agno along the street that leads to taft). laugh trips with people who could care any less. it's the bomb baby!

but i have to end this on a sour note. i dunno if you'd understand, but whaddaheck. if ever i do, will i being doing it out of guilt or out of sincerity? any thoughts? i've nothing to spare.. even for myself.. that's just so pathetic..

2005-05-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

it'll all be too soon...

How about a completely serious, unabashed post?

Just for the sake of it. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.

I have this friend (don’t we all?) with whom I’ve shared a gazillion thoughts, two gazillion tears and three of mindless talks which almost always ended up with the both of us laughing our heads off. We share so many things in common, he’s almost me. But that’s not the whole point of my long dialogue.

A few hours back, his dad left his family behind. But don’t get started with the evil thoughts just yet. Together with his mom, brother, sister and a handful of aunts, he brought his dad to the airport for an eight o’clock flight connecting from narita, japan, to LAX in Los Angeles, where he’ll be boarding a plane bound for Missouri where he’ll finally ride the last plane to Dallas. You see, his family will soon be migrating to the lone star state where the aforementioned jetsetter received an offer from this company, much like the moshies’ own julai.

I can’t help but let the waterworks explode. Ok, so maybe explode might be too much of a word, but even if I try my best to find a reason for me not to, I simply can’t stop my eyes from draining themselves out. It all seemed too familiar to me. If it happens yet again to another friend, it’ll all be too soon. It was surreal at first, he told me about the so-called plans months ago, but I didn’t think they would actually happen. After several failed attempts at coming up with a despedida that spanned our entire high school, I was first to laugh the thing off. But oddly enough, when I least expected it to be true, his dad was already well on his way to the States. What a painful irony.

There’s definitely no turning back now. His dad’s departure sealed the grim deal. He’s gone. Or at least he’ll be, given the few months we have left. Which gives me all the more reason to spend even more time with him- more mutual thoughts, more tearjerker moments and most especially, more unadulterated laughter (so maybe they’re not exactly unadulterated, but who the hell cares- at least not the two of us). Who’d want to end on a sour note?

To my friend, you’ll always have me. Walang bayad ang ym. Not unless they charge you out there in Texas.

2005-05-03T15:38:00.000-07:00

crumpled thoughts

Where do I see myself in ten years? Right here. Yep. No place else.

I’ve given it a lot of thought already. A lot. Ten times the number of overtly expensive shoes that Imelda has hidden in the deepest crevices of her dingy old closet (so no one can take her rightful space in the Guinness Book of World Records. And besides, she wouldn’t want the golden toilet thing haunting her again, stolen from her house and all, right?). Getting back to my point. My life is as precariously aimless as Mariah Carey’s career, a road covered in bumps and disguised in sunlit picturesque ideals leading me to God-knows-where and back. I have no direction. Not even my mom knows what I want. It’s that serious.

I usually end up pinching myself out of a jobless melancholic forecast of what would become of a useless twit like me. I have to admit that everything’s going great for me, so great that I couldn’t ask for more. But that inevitable lack of urgency results to an unparalleled lack of passion for whatever deed (or misdeed, for that matter) I engage myself in.

I want to be so many things, so long as I don’t end up selling my undies for a measly piece of bread in due time. I’ve come up with a partial list of things that I’d want to be when I’ve outgrown all the frolic and fun of a carefree adolescence rid of debauchery and commitment (driver not being one of them. check out previous post). But the list tells me nothing. Save for the fact that I really don’t know what I want to be. Hell, I’m not even sure I like my course. But I have to make up for it somehow. How? Even I don’t know the answer.

Which brings me to an avid recollection of last week’s surprise elimination of Constantine in AI. Simon said it best when he told Scott to pack his bags and get ready for the heave-ho. Life is much too f*cked-up for you to know what telenovela-ish thing will happen next to your bungling existence otherwise known only to yourself as your life and for the rest of the human population a huge pain in the ass. I only call it as I see it. Don’t fret. I tell myself the same thing everyday.

And the sudden AI flashback brought a much more distinctively good thought. Bo Bice made such a good point in his repartee of undulated notes that might make the next American Idol a rocker dude. I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately…

i'll never prove your momma wrong

2005-05-03T01:16:00.000-07:00

i'll never prove your momma wrong

hope i don't turn into one of those warnings you see along quezon ave that tell you to take utmost caution when driving. my mom would shun me for life!

Stay inside your houses folks. I know no better than to warn you of my sporadic yet incessant driving skills which are liable to accidents and a few dents and scratches here and there.

I declare myself, in lieu of proper forethought from a far better professional than I, the general nuisance your Baclaran-bound belo-wearing momma warned you about. I am definitely your nightmare on Elm Street. Or any permissible road for that matter. I have become the newest cause of insufferable congestion on the polluted road works of the precarious jungle otherwise known as Manila.

My reverie has turned from bad to worse, or might I say, yours, you horn-blasting bastard-who-can’t-wait-for-me-to-snap-out-of-my-driving-reverie. Though I must admit that I get the heebie-jeebies whenever I hear another seemingly toilet-bound human being behind the wheel blow his horn like there’s no tomorrow. If Darwin knew this was how the world would end-up, then he shouldn’t have probably named his theory that way. I believe survival of the useless would have been more apt. I sometimes wish that I was not where I was- void of the tiny plastic with my ugly and demeaning mug shot on it (my license, you nincompoop!). But after thinking of the six freaking hours I had to endure inside the human carnage building reeking of libag and sweat (otherwise known as LTO), hell no! I wouldn’t trade it for my raspberry frappe. Okay. So maybe I’d do it for my life, but not for my cup of tea. Literally.

(Insert Maalala Mo Kaya theme song)

It was like any ill-fated day, starting out with a trip reminiscent of a certain Olsen twins movie, a hand on the wheel, the other who knows where. But that’s not what I’m trying to get at. I was chilling out, music in tow, crooning the irrevocable ode to all the Jamaican artists and their wannabe counterparts. I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot no deputy… It was somewhere between remembering what stupid egotistical notion I had and reminding myself of The Amazing Race’s rerun on AXN later that night when I heard what no self-respecting driver would ever want to hear- it was but suggestive of a childhood lost to a teacher scratching the board with her bare nails. My worst fear has become my parents’ undulating torment in case I wanted something bought. And trust me, they would not let it go up until this very moment.

A look to my right revealed a dent on the Honda sitting idly (and might I add, innocently) on the fortuitously then-bare parking space. Oh boy, did I have my near-death flashback (though I wasn’t really sure if it would be coming from my fuming mad parents or the star-crossed bastard who was unfortunate enough to have landed a space beside my ominously gargantuan 4x4). It was a page out of the American Pie mishap, when Jason Biggs wasn’t so big with Shannon Elizabeth in his bed. I swear I heard my Mom rattling about it from a good 10 mile distance. Of course, it was just logical that I called her first; she’d get a pretty good kick form hearing my story.

I guess I handled myself pretty well that wretched day, contrary to what the guy, whose story of how he took good care not to land a single scratch on his car almost brought me to tears, said. According to the WWF’s Yokozuna look-alike, I lost all the color in my face after what happened then turned a slightly lighter shade of crimson when I saw his macabre face from the safe viewing distance behind the windshield. And for a good laugh, my family would usually turn to this impeccably distasteful anecdote of how I got into my first ever vehicular accident. But I have to admit, I was surprised at how lightly my parents took the situation. I lost my would have been’s in the forbearing solitude of the car and her bravura stereo (meaning I’d have to be with an, ahem, responsible driver a.k.a. my ate whenever I drive), and no driving rights to this reckless student driver for awhile. That and I was grounded in an unspeakable way exclusive to my parents methods, which I have, up to this day, resolved no grasp on how it works. Since it obviously doesn’t. Think. If it did, then I wouldn’t have been telling you of my candidly insane story, duffus.

2005-04-11T15:26:00.000-07:00

so surreal..

this has got to be the best movie of all time. cruel intentions comes unparalleled (for me) when it comes to films. i've watched it countless times already, but it never fails to entertain me each and every single time. unlike movies that make you cringe after the credits roll in (such as the st. francisville experiment- para kasing brandy, there's an awful aftertaste you can't get off your tongue even after how many days). but this movie is nothing like that. not even close.

fear not, i won't bore you with a synopsis or film critic. but i'll give you some crap in the movie that made it ten times more amazing than it already is. factual or not, i am my own audience. i'll be writing for my own pleasure or distaste. so screw it. shut your mouth!

the 1956 vintage Jaguar roadster was the bomb! if by any unknowing circumstance i suddenly become a billionaire, that would be the first thing i'd buy. it's simply heaven on wheels, baby!

the women. period.
the selma-sarah kiss. 'nough said.
if you've watched the movie, i'm sure there's no contest as to what the most memorable scene in the movie is. it's the one where annette was going up the escalator only to find out that sebastian was on the other end waiting for her. it was so perfect for me that sometimes, i just feel like standing up on the other end of the escalator waiting for my own annette. kidding...
if only i were that rich..
the love story is too good to be true. but sometimes, the most impossible things do happen. so it wouldn't hurt if i end up like that (right before the dramatic yet fatal car accident. who'd enjoy a dead boyfriend?)
it's so easy to relate to sebastian. to all the guys out there, this movie is a must-see. this is how we jerks mess up with a girl's feelings only to realize how stupid we are in the end. i should know.

in the game of seduction, there is only one rule. never fall in love -cruel intentions cover-

so true.

json

2005-04-10T20:08:00.000-07:00

it's only bound to get better!

i am ecstatic beyond words right now. i have been blessed!

anyhow, so many things are going through my mind right now. unfortunately for the very few readers( besides me, i do not know anyone else. so that should've been reader), my mind is currently off limits. but for whatever irrelevant thrill you'll be getting, a little time is all i ask. i'm about to make one helluva surprise. so stay tuned.

as of now, i content myself with daydreaming. i want to do so many things this summer, but unfortunately, financial (my wallet is so empty, i swear you can hear an echo right through the thing) and time (15 hours of sleep is what a growing boy- such as the general nuisance- needs) constraints prevent me from doing anything. i've been bugging my ate to do everything with me- badminton, exercise, street dancing, swimming, bumming, going to the mall... but nothing seems so happen (except the bumming part). so i have to content myself with being under temporary house arrest.

that's all there is to it. nothing more, nothing less. but still, i am very happy. you know why? cause i am the general nuisance!

till next time mi amigos..

json

i have a new layout!!!

2005-04-09T17:25:00.000-07:00

i have a new layout!!!

finally, i have a new layout. i am so proud of myself.

first noteworthy deed for the summer (and hopefully not the last).

so.... whatdya think? tag me!

json (no tengo dinero!!! poor moi)

hell yeah!

2005-04-07T22:01:00.000-07:00

hell yeah!

school's over. finally.

after hundreds of days, three terms, 11 months, one school year and a minute from yesterday, i am done with my first year in college. hell yeah!

i have worked so hard for this, and i know i'm pretty much deserving of a good pat on the back for all the sleepless nights, the cramming and all. i know i'm bound only for greater things (hopefully, those that do not involve work and numbers and accounting) this summer. i am going to be the ULTIMATE BUM (as if i'm not right now).

my performance for my finals leaves much to be desired, and i'm sure as hell that my grades will suffer like anything. i have no idea as to what will happen, but i sure hope it's gooooood... i am so patapon right now, my mind's sabaw (mas sabaw pa than the sopas sa canteen ng masci) and i couldn't care anyless. no more days of agonizing school (until may.. oh sh*t), no more getting up at the ungodly hours of the morning, no more eye bags (di na lang bags eh, maleta na ata) and no more going to the congested streets of manila. summer, here i come!

but i can only hope for the best, since my days would probably turn sour on the 15th(fyi: that's when we archers get our course cards). it ain't gonna be such a prrrrreeeettttyyy sight...

until next time mi amigos!

p.s.: moshies, who's up for an all nighter sa house ko? give me a shout out!

json

woe is me

2005-03-14T13:06:00.000-08:00

woe is me

it continuously amazes me how i manage to piss someone off everytime i open my mouth. i almost always outdo myself everytime. i am but deserving of a good pat on the back.

yet again, i am very sorry and apologetic to those who got offended by my post. it may be beside the point, but i never meant for the post to sound the way it did. sorry sorry and one more sorry.

summer's just around the corner, and i am to be found nowhere near that particular corner. nowhere. not even close. that's life for us on the green side, we have to deal with four more months of stress- a begrudgingly long month of arduous work that enatils sleepless nights and sleepy mornings. now, ain't that grand?

i can almost hear the wind calling out my name, the sun thrilled by my nearing arrival. summer vacation is about to start for most, but we have to suffer the consequences of being trimestral. it's either that or we struggle with four or five years for a college degree. oh well, that's life.

but the befitting piece de resistance is that i am to have for myself days on end of useless nothing. summer's the perfect time to leave your butt's mark on your dreary bed, when bumming around is the only way to spend your wasted days. this is the season to take your profession as a couch potato to the next level. worthless nothingness, here i come!

but until then i have to content myself with stressful days and nights void of some shut-eye. waiting for my state of mental chillness to come.

would you?

2005-03-10T04:32:00.000-08:00

would you trade in a trip to bora for a weekend in puerto galera?

thought so. hell no! never. not in a lifetime. not even when i get reincarnated. but i have to be contented with that. seems like i won't be going to bora at all. my parents aren't flinching, and they've already made plans to go to puerto. again. after just a month, we are headed for puerto. i've had enough of it already! buti sana if i were with a different set of people, but hell no, i'm stuck with my family. oh well, that's life.

anyhow, it's four in the morning, i'm up, the sun's not, and i have nothing better to do, so i'm staring at my laptop. i'm actually trying not to be a crammer (operative word here being not). i'm trying (then again) to finish an argumentative essay for english. but nothing's happening, so why waste precious neurons for absolutely worthless nothing.

damned tag boards! they're not working.

anyhow, i think i was a bit too feisty with the post sa moshies blog. sorry guys, dala lang most probably ng hangover. that's the first and last time na that will happen. nebor again. hehe..

it's my mom's birthday! happy birthday ma! whoops, it was yesterday pa pala. i did something really stupid. my mom has been eyeing this bag in bayo for months. she wants it so bad, but she never bought it. the logical thing is to get her the bag for her birthday. get the bag i did, but no tengo dinero. in short, i swiped. hehe.. my dad will kill me if he sees my credit card bill with a purchase from bayo. and wait till he realizes that it was my gift for my mom. oh no..

this month has been punctured with various austerity measures, but none more drastic than today. i was begging for people to treat me (thanks pala gail! hehe), then for lunch, i spent like 50 bucks for a complete meal. that's la salle (more like agno) for you! who said lasallians aren't budget conscious?!

but thank God it was my mom's birthday. i filled my empty tank in italiani's, pigged out, grew from a 32 to a 33.. but it was well worth it. what, with the fiscal crisis thing i have going on? free food never tasted this good.

till next time compadres..

note to self: the general nuisance should never be caught drunk again

2005-03-07T22:25:00.000-08:00

i've never been so drunk in my entire life.

up until now, i'm suffering the consequences of the overtly large doses of alcohol intake last saturday. or make that sunday morning. i thankfully lost the hangover (hell man, thought my head was going to explode!), but up until now, my hand itches like anything. a friend said that i may be allergic to alcohol, but it saddens me to think that i'd have to give up my passion. so i still am faced with uncertainty as to the cause of my rashes. but until it's otherwise proven, i will enjoy the company of my bestfriends namely, jose and his merry band of men (that's jose cuervo for you, duffus!)

life as i know it will never be the same. college is killing me, everyday in school seems like torture, comparable to listening to britney's album over and over again, day in, day out. it's so hassle to get my lazy butt off my bed every morning, much more to weigh the pros and cons of cutting every other class. days seem longer, hours seem magnified tenfold. and the urge to study, how can you miss something you never even had to begin with?

add in some miserable problems, and it makes for a perfect sequel to phantom of the opera. why you might ask? the movie's just misery on film. period. and if misery decides to create a brand new line of clothes, then i'd probably make a good model, even better than jacko.

let me clue you in on how to be miserable:
1. build your hopes up on a vacation with your blockmates to bora then have your parents trod on it like anything.
2. have a promiscuously empty wallet. nough said.
3. lose your phone's stylus, get your other phone's lcd sira for the second time around. in short, have a cellphone misery frenzy.
4. drown yourself in mounds of tests and homework and all the crap school can give you. that plus the looming feeling that hell week will become hell month and that finals week ain't gonna be such a preeeetty sight.
5. be single. crap..

the list never stops. just when you feel like you've done something good, you're doomed. to hell and back. like ingested corrosive bleach that you end up puking out. it's that bad. that's Murphy's law for you. damned Murphy. he must have been one miserable fellow.

the long wait is over

2004-12-14T11:01:00.000-08:00

finally.. again.. i update my miserable blog..

who would've thought that things would work out this way. so many things have happened that i don't even know where to begin. well, it's my fault anyway. blogs and tamad people like me just don't seem to click. no surprise there!

a term has just concluded for me, and for every other lasallian for that matter. i had my last of two final exams (math and accounting) just this morning, and i have to say that's quite a load off my chest. sino man ang nagsabi na college would be easier ay dapat patayin na. burning the midnight oil is no easy task. lalo pa naman at ako ay isang major crammer. procrastinator. whatever way you put it, tamad pa rin ako. and trust me, it's not doing me any good. i'm sure as hell na bababa ang grades ko. specially accounting. tanginang accounting talaga yan. and to think na i was to take up b.a.a. sana sa updil. thank god!

but the most surprising thing is i actually have a social life! wow.. big deal. if there's any diff between high school and college is that people are much more liberal sa college. so many things have happened since i became a frosh. things i'd rather not talk about. things i enjoyed doing but ended up having regrets. things i derive pleasure from. things that are just plain crappy. all sorts, in every imaginable shape and size. (if you want a lowdown on everything that has happened, just mail me.. i won't spare you the gory details. hehehe..)

school still sucks (never did change since grade school..). nothing new bout that. or is it just me? anyway, i'd update you bout my pathetic and mabababang grades when i get my course cards. for the mean time, magrereminisce muna ako.

i miss high school. a lot. but the problem is, i'm too preoccupied living my so-called life that i barely have time to "reconnect" with hs friends, lalo na ang moshies. i miss everything there is to miss about moseley. and by saying that, i mean everything. kahit na mga katarantaduhan. lalong-lalo na ang mga karantaduhan. practices and shit and all the crap. that's the best thing about being a moshie. you might be crap, but definitely the best kind there is. only prime grade to pare!

and it goes without saying na I AM DESPERATE TO SEE YOU PEOPLE AGAIN!! it's been too long already. it's bad for my health already. and i bet MISS NA MISS NIYO NA RIN AKO!! hehehehe.. kaya you can't wait to see me na. :)

as of current time (3:38 am), i am in dire need of a drink. preferably something with alcohol. hai. masyado na akong nastress sa college na i need to vent my deep-rooted angst sa pagtatagay. ayun lang. ishashare ko lang. kasi baka maisipan niyong AYAIN AKONG TUMAGAY. flat out nagpaparinig na ako. sige na moshies!! please!!

anyway. i'll continue some other time. baka tomorrow. ayun lang.

ang life talaga, para pa ring buhay...

json

"json, by any other name, would be as crappy.."

how messed up can you get?

2004-09-06T16:56:00.000-07:00

i am messed up.

and that, for your information, is the biggest understatement of the year.

well, i've been worse off before, in the dumps, with nothing to do, nowhere to go. it's just that i feel wasted. and imagine, isang term pa lang yun. it has been a physical and emotional roller coaster, to say the least. college has been the transmorgified masci. a hectic schedule, a hectic life, a hectic everything. la salle is just the "cooler" version of masci (and by that i mean, naka-aircon kaya malamig).

gaya nga ng sabi nila, college is just like masci, only more gargantuan in terms of spatial orientation. it's pretty much the same. and they've never been so right in their entire lives. my stress level has reached insurmountable heights, and my strength and mental capacity has plummeted to God knows where. the last time i checked, i was a lasallian. how come it feels like masci in here?

pero most of my so-called "hardwork" paid off (may ginawa nga ba ako?!). i really thought i was going to lose my scholarship, tapos i was raking in more problems from school than before, plus i had no more time for myself.. as a good cebuano friend of mine put it, "nakakabuang an college." and to think na i've continued to be a part of the oh-so-famous MCS (master crammers' society, for those not in the know). i am proud to say, I PASSED. i passed my first term in college.

for all it's worth, i honestly thought that i would lose my scholarship. and what frightened me the most was the thought of being "descholarized", if there was such a term. sa masci, parang ok lang since everybody was on equal footing, pero sa dlsu, a big chunk of the population paid their way in to college. as for me, i got the easy way in. or so i thought.

hassle ang scholarship na to. i know i've said this too many times before already, pero i just want to reiterate the idea. aakalain mong masarap ang buhay ng tao who gets everything for free. well, you're gravely mistaken. now, i really have to study. di na pwede ang nag-gagago sa college. i could be banished from dlsu as quickly as i got in. it's that serious.

with all this said, bakit nga ba i haven't changed? old habits really do die hard. i'm quite an old dog, and unfortunately for me, i can't be taught new tricks. time management? never heard. diligence? nope, not in my dictio. procrastination? that's more like it. and you know what? dlsu actually tolerates such values. well, not tolerate tolerate, it's just that the environemnt promotes cramming that it's hard for you to go against the system. it's just like getting inside a burning building when everyone else is going the opposite direction.

pero, for my part, i am very proud to say this. cliche as it may sound, i never expected this. plastic na kung plastic para sayo, pero i feel like i've done nothing to deserve this. i've been too lethargic and indolent these past three months. i'll just cut through all the crap.

i made it to the dl.

that's all.

and i'm pretty darn proud of it.

2004-08-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

oh gawd.. it's been so long since i've last posted that i'd rather not count the days.. sakit lang sa ulo.. and besides, i should eb doing arguments for my critical thinking... hehehe...

so what's new? i'm a lasallian.. quite a shock, when i should've been in THE ATENEO.. long story.. and to make it short, la salle bribed me... :)

anyhow..

where will i start?

i've adjusted pretty well... a new set of friends, four girls (dalawang woodrose, isang poveda at isang assumption) and two chinese boys (chiang kai).. pero nothing beats moseley talaga.. miss you guys!! haha... specially si jullie... now that i found out na she's not here anymore.. she's in texas now.. which makes me sad 'cause i wasn't able to attend her despedida.. :(

as i was saying.. la salle's not bad at all.. really weird to have the aircon though.. sanay kasi tayo sa pahirapan sa ventilation.. other than that, sarap kumain!! feeling ko nga tumaba na ako.. galing sa states, tumaba na ako, then tumaba pa ako sa la salle.. that makes me tumaba-squared.. oh well, what's new?

as for academic matters, ok naman.. parehas kami ni gail na doing pretty good.. rundown tayo..

ACCOM1A- intor accounting.. nothing new for us sir bulaclac boys.. pero i'm pretty sad 'cause i only got 3.0 for my midterm grade.. just because of a stupid folder.. 85 agad ako (which is equal to 2.5) 'cause alang fastener.. hay... that's life! pero my grade's pretty good na.. mataas na yan sa class namin.. many fear na magkaka-accumulation sila sa acctg.. as in magrerepeat sila.. only one got 3.5, and that's the highest.. dalawa sana kami.. hehe.. and i'm proud to say that i'm doing charitable work for acctg, nagtututor ako for free sa mga classmates ko! hehe..

GENPSYC- gen psychology.. ok lang naman.. i pass the quizzes, pero not exceptionally.. well that's the case for most of the people in class.. it's just that i hope i get a good grade sa subject na to.. btw.. nung isang araw, we were talking bout language, tapos tinanong kung ilang languages alam mo.. if you know four, you get a 4.0 for that exercise... and being bisaya and having a foreign language class in h.s. helps pala! hehehe... go french!!!

COMATH1- not sure kung ano meaning, basta algebra siya.. ok naman.. doing well actually.. i got a 4.0 for our midterm grade... sana maka-4.0 ako dito.. i'm enjoying this subject naman, kaso i think feeling ng teacher namin i'm a know-it-all.. pano ba naman, i have this chinese classmate na magaling sa math.. pag nagkakamali si miss, nagkakatinginan kami then i tell the teacher na may mali sa ginagawa niya.. pero in a nice way.. pero i think she's getting offended, kaya i don't talk that much in class na.. hehe..

INTROSO-intro to sociology.. this class is b-o-r-i-n-g... pero ok naman.. dmaing gawain, and it's actually good that you can relate your experiences to what she's teaching.. sociology nga e, so it deals with the society at interaction ng mga tao.. ayun lang.. ok rin naman ata grades ko dito.. kaya ok na yun..

FRIENDSTER CLASS- actually di ko alam kung ano tawag sa computer class namin.. kaya friendster class lang siya, 'cause that's all we do.. kung may exercises man, madali lang siya inf airness, kaya we end up doing everything in about 30 mins then yung 1 hour, we while away our time.. kaya ganun..

CRITHIN-ito ay critical thinking.. mala philo.. torture to.. sakit na sa ulo na magisip profoundly, dami pang kailangang gawin.. kaya ayun.. teacher namin from up, kaya medyo weird.. joke!! pero weird talaga teacher namin, pangalan ba naman niya ginawang abstract.. that's just the start of that.. marami pa..

PETEAMS- futsal(indoor soccer) at ultimate frisbee pe namin.. ok namin.. though i'm not acive in this class.. kakatamad kasi e.. and besides, mahina puso ko, it runs in the family.. kaya i don't like running around the court that much.. gives me palpitations.. as for gail, pare, sobrang active sa games.. hehe..

as a whole, i'm doing good academically.. teachers either like me or they find me mayabang.. madaldal pa rin kasi ako sa klase.. as for my classmates.. asar sila sa akin.. kasi di ako nagaaral.. pero i pass.. and mayabang na kung mayabang, pero i actually get good grades.. hehe.. may times pa nga na i get the highest grades.. pero madalang.. hehe.. ask gail pa.. and i've discovered na pag hindi nagaaral, mataas nakukuha mo.. kaya wag nang magaral! hahaha...

btw, secretary/treasurer ako.. job for life ko na yan.. no pa ba? nagcacarpool na pala ako ngayon, kasama yung dalawang woodrose girls i was talking bout awhile ago.. si bob and si stax.. you should meet them one of these days.. ayun..

orgs.. TAPAT-political org, MAFIA-course org, tapos ala na.. BEA-college assembly...yun lang..

being a scholar pala isn't easy.. ang daming obligations.. tulad ng umattend sa mga meetings at seminars.. mag-aral (which i fail to meet kasi di talaga ako nag-aaral, mas masarap kasi matulog), magmaintain ng grades, magturo sa ibang tao..

at pinakmahirap s a lahat.. kapag nasa class ka, lingon ka nang lingon.. pano ba naman, lahat ng tao nagtatanong sayo, ginagawa kang computer... papa j this and papa j that.. (btw, ako pa rin si papa j.. di ako naging lolo j jamie... hehehe) stiff neck ang inaabot ko.. one time, during acctg class, ang unofficial count is fifteen times akong tinawag.. di pa nacount yung before diyan.. tsaka mga teachers pala sa college abusado! sa acctg, pinasulat sa akin yung answer ko sa exercise sa buong board.. tatlong boards pala yun.. so imbis na siya yung nagtratrabaho,ako pa ginawang tagasulat.. tapos sa dulo, sabi niya, di niya maintindihan yung solution ko.. kasi daw may sarili akong ginagawa.. yun pala, there's an easier way of doing it.. that always happens to me, especially sa math, may mas madali palang solution, nagpapakahirap pa ako.. oh well..

as for my membership sa KAWALA, ewan ko na lang.. mahabang kwento.. masasabi ko lang, loyal ako.. yun lang..

hehe..

til next time!

j

p.s.: i love you moshies!!!!!!!!!!!

the long overdue post

2004-06-09T20:36:00.001-07:00

yes. i have finally found the time to post. after a long period of hibernation, i summed up all my strength to create a brand new post. but unfortunately, i am at a loss.

with nothing to talk about, i've decided to create a post on my new life, one of being a green-blooded neophyte. (note: it's green-blodded you duffus, not green-minded.) i have been one for three weeks already, and much to my surprise, i'm enjoying it. i'm living the life of a "frosh". (inaapi kaming mga lasallians ni joshua dahil ang baho daw ng name namin. at least my name kami, unlike them. hahaha...) hai... life can surely play with us. one minute i thought i'd be a blue eagle, the other i'm a green archer..

sige na. time to go. may lecture pa kami e. till next time.

the long overdue post

2004-06-09T20:36:00.000-07:00

yes. i have finally found the time to post. a long period of hibernation, i summed up all my strength to create a brand enw post. but unfortunately, i am at a loss.

with nothign to talk about, i've decided to create a post on my new life, one of being a green-blooded neophyte. (note: it's green-blodded you duffus, not green-minded.) i have been one for three weeks already, and much to my surprise, i'm enjoying it. i'm living the life of a "frosh". (inaapi kaming mga lasallians ni joshua dahil ang baho daw ng name namin. at least my name kami, unlike them. hahaha...) hai... life can surely play with us. one minute i thought i'd be a blue eagle, the other i'm a green archer..

sige na. time to go. may lecture pa kami e. till next time.

the flight of the bumbed `ol bee

2004-05-16T23:04:00.000-07:00

i'm home. finally.

though canada and america were not bad at all, there has been a growing need for the good old suffocating air of manila. thus, i am back and never have i been happier to see a huge throng of belching, beeping cars en masse. how many people can proudly say that they've missed the metro's clogged roads and scorching heat?

but alas! the good news ends there. before i was able to rejoice for a much-awaited homecoming, no one can imagine the things i had to go through.

airplanes are not my kind of thing. nope, i have no traumatizing experience that would otherwise prevent me from boarding a winged monster to dizzying heights, nor am i prone to pelting everything inside my gut to catastrophic heights. but for those who've been on the darned thing, they would understand. you see, riding a plane is not exactly the greatest experience, not unless you cough up enough dough to sit your ass in the first class.

and so, my story begins.

bound to leave l.a. a little after lunchtime, we went to LAX at around 11. a few pics here and there, and we were up and about. the check-in lines were long, but tolerable. what made the wait irritating was the fact that we had to lug around a sea of bags and boxes. not much of a surprise, since we filipinos find hoarding stuff an enjoyable habit. so there i was, giving my feet a much-needed rest after an hour of standing up in every imaginable queue. the gate was crowded. and when i say crowded, i mean crowded in an i-hit-everybody-with-every-little-movement-i-make kind of way. oh, the horror.

finally, we were able to get on the stupid thing. but lady luck had a thing against us. we were on the plane for 4 hours, perspiring and hungry and all. oh, and did i mention? the plane was motionless. we were waiting for a miracle that would never be. turns out, there was this noise that the pilot's ears were not accustomed to hearing. rather than end up on the frontpage of every newspaper ("Plane Crashes Due to Technical Problems,No Survivors"), the flight was cancelled. oh dear.

but our silver lining soon came shining. a delayed flight meant a million freebies. freebies galore!!! free room, free food, free goodies, free toiletries, free phone call... but not all good things last. and our bad luck started the moment we stepped out of the airport's automtic doors. to get to the hotel which the airline booked for the stranded people (namely us and every single one of the fuming heads stuck in LAX), you had to get on the elusive tram. hundreds of people for two trams(each has a capacity of 20 or so). doesn't make any sense. got off the plane at 4, got on the tram at 6. very logical, isn't it?

everythin' else went smoothly soon sfter the troublesome ordeal we had to go through. well, up until we got to japan. the connecting flight to manila passed through tokyo (narita), and we had to get off the plane and board another one of the damned things. and guess what? `round the corner is another long wait. hours. literally. got off at noon and rode the plane to manila at 6. can you just imagine!? and boy, did those 6 hours take a toll on my poor butt. it was worse than sitting through mrs. yumang's class! at least with the famed teacher, we had someone to laugh at. but the torment in tokyo would have to end sooner or later, and thankfully, it did. finally. home sweet home. really, really sweet home.

i'm back in the dust and turmoil of the urban jungle otherwise known as manila. oh dear, it's paradise. heaven sure is a place on earth. and it's right smack in the middle of luzon.

fpj who? vote for willie revillame...

2004-05-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

it is a known fact that never has there been a time to be more filipino (i don't know if that's a good or bad thing...) than the election period... well maybe during the centennial celebration of our independence, but that's a whole different thing... tvs blare with the sound of the most recent poll (which by the way, almost always gives a different result from the previous one)... everyone pretends to be a political analyst (like moi)... and the political fever is on! thrillaaaaahhhhh in manilaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!

i am tired of trapos... i am... and so is everybody... except the 80% of voters, who otherwise could have used their brains, and the upper 5% of the population, the filthy rich that benefit from the installation of the trapo... the 5% employed by these trapos, who get a chunk of the trapo's welath, and the 9% who just don't care... maybe they have a point... why flick a finger and use up your brain cells for absolutely nothing? so, that leaves 1%.... hhmm... so maybe only a few... we're a dying breed, but at least we're alive...

so, i present to you, a new breed of presidentiables( now, now... ma'am labay told us that there is no such word in the dictionary... maybe i can put in in JWWOWAWW... see post below):

1. willie revillame

the unconventional always presents something new, good or bad, but at least it's new... during the '98 elections, when revillame was still in touch with the masa and raking in lots of dough (when his vulgar antics have gone unnoticed by the MTRCB), he granted an interview to PDI... asked what he was going to do if elected to the highest seat of power, he gave a straightforward answer... and it couldn't get any more straightforward than this... paghuhubarin ko na lang lahat ng tao... walang rape, kasi nagkakakitaan na lahat... walang krimen, dahil wala ka nang pagtataguan ng baril... hhhmmm.. he's got a point there... *does a nod suggesting interest*

2. tessa prieto-valdez

for those who do not know this fashionably loud person, she is a formidable part of PDI's lifestyle section... her hubby is dennis valdez, only the president of inq7.net... nope, she's not a wacko (so maybe she's a little off, but that makes her a whole lot better)... and yes, she's radical, but some liberal ideas might do the philippines good... why would i vote for her? simply because she rocks... we've failed at the conventional approach to presidency... and failure is something we're really good at but hope not to be... she might have some weird idea concocting in her fabulous brain underneath a big wig shrouded in a feathered and laced hat (cause she likes wearing those, for those not in the know) that might finally end world hunger... hhhmmm....

3. richie rich

it's simple... with his market value, and oh, all that dough, he cannot only make all of us rich (unlike a certain presidentiable promising a helluva money, and who's otherwise known as birdbrain.. go figure), but he can ward off robbers, criminals and every nefarious crook in between... a government without kurakot? that would take a miracle... hahaha...

4. melanie marquez

she won miss international with a broken grammar... and beauty contests could be such a pain in the ass... the politics, the backstabbing, oh, the brutality of it all... and how could it be any different? oh, she'd have to trade in the crown and big hair for a shorter do... being president leaves her little time for hairspay and eyeshadow and lipstick and...

but then, why vote for them when you can vote for someone else? how 'bout a pseudoactor intent on saving the masses from the evil clutches of the villainous antagonist? or a pseudopinay, who has difficulty in speaking in tagalog (have you seen her political ads? i speak filipino much better than her...oh puh-lease...)? maybe a candidate with a bad fashion sense and an even worse approach to campaigning... talk about crab mentality... then you're left with a criminal, a newbie(though religion and politics are separated by a very thin line), and a simple nutcase... oh, we're doomed...

why would i vote for someone else? because i have a brain... maybe then. i'd vote for me...

an excerpt from an interview by love anouver:
bakit mo iboboto si fpj? eh kasi, magaling siya umarte eh...

filipinos sure have a long way to go...

what the heck...

2004-05-08T01:43:00.000-07:00

oh what the heck... i've been planning to recount the amazing and more often than not boring tales of my adventure in a continent miles away from home... but i'm afraid that it will have to wait... i've reserved my creative juices for something much better... and no. i am not going to bore you to hell with another story about love...

my family and i were at universal studios a few hours back... (hold on.. just before you go to another blog, this is, i repeat, not about my travels to unchartered territories... it's an opening statement) we were about to leave(see? i told you, you duffus), when i saw a universal studios store filled with sbob goodies outside the theme park... my little brother wanted a spongebob t-shirt so badly that he was crying, but nobody paid any attention to him ('coz that's what he does most of the time... it just, uhm, how do i say this, it kind of grows on you... at some point or another) and you know what, he was not alone... though i was not crying, i wanted a spongebob tee so bad, but it'll set me back a whoopin' 20 bucks... talk about expensive... and i have exhausted all my money on a big $27- sbob stuffed toy... that leaves me with... uhm, let me compute... 5 + 20 -30 + ....(opens calculator on pc...) that leaves me with nothing at all! zilch! scream into my wallet, and i swear you'll hear an echo... so, i had to be contented with looking at the shirt... it was like milkolate for omar, mochaccino for james, the belt for jamie... it was life... and not having the shirt sucked the life out of me...

got other sbob merchandise though... maybe that was enough...

and here's the part where you pretend to be so intent on reading... i finally got to my goosebumpy part of the story... (goosebumpy, is there such a word? hhmmm... maybe there is... in json's wonderful world of weird and whatever words)

i was looking at some of the other sbob merchandise when i bumped into this muscular guy... and by saying i bumped into him... i meant i bumped into him... being the small guy, i said my apologies... i expected a frown, or a mean bunch of pointed bloody canines sticking out of this guy's mouth... but boy did i have the surprise of my life... to quote his exact words(accompanied by the awful stench of a few bottles of beer)... "that's okay, baby!" OMG... the guy was not a guy at all!

that leaves me with a clicheish(another word from JWWOWAWW) conclusion... not everything is what it seems...

back to square one

2004-04-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, April 20
1:09 AM

i have been staring at the screen for approximately 30 mins, hoping that a brilliant idea would appear from out of the blue, something interesting enough to become the topic of my blog... and fortunately, i've come up with, well... pretty much nothing.. nada. zilch. zero.

so i was kinda hoping that if i kept on typing, a stupendous idea would come from my friggin' brain.. but my nutshell has come up with nothing...

so, from nothing, here goes nothing also...

i hate sappy stuff... i usually find myself clicking the big X on my screen once i see a mushy article before me.. don't take this against me, but i am a huge cynical duffus... i hate reading other people's stories.. and for what reason you might ask? it's the big fear that wells up inside my stomach, then it slowly creeps through my heart, then before i know it.. kablam! my mind is in shambles... i fear the unknown.. i fear having to sympathize with another, seeing yourself in his miseries... it takes away your very soul, tears you apart, swallows you whole, then just spits you... ouch...

but then, who am i to tell you all these? take my word for it.. i have failed miserably for the nth time when it came to the big four-letter word... yup... it's a disgrace, but someone has to do it...

what was my biggest mistake? it was not falling in love with a friend... i take it back... my biggest mistake would have to be not falling in love with her years ago... i have been the unwilling victim of the mischievous criminal, i have fallen prey to regret... and though i struggled to defeat him, i ended up hurting myself evenmore... i've been engulfed in millions of what if's and what could have been's that i barely know myself... i doubt it if i would be the same guy talking to you right now had the things been different...

but after all that has happened... i for one have certainly learned my lesson... i've seen one to many friends fall into the, as jamie would put it, quicksand countless times already... but who knows? i said i've learned, but your brain always throws out information to make way for new ones... i could be beside you, struggling to get myself loose from the monstrous quicksand... who knows... who knows... nobody, it seems...

and now, i've become my own worst enemy... i've been talking bout senseless stuff for a few minutes already... but i am a mere human being... it's the biggest paradox of life... we humans create our own problems... we wallow in our own misery... don't you humans ever learn? i for one will most probably forget the lesson... oh well, back to square one...

the fall of the rise

2004-04-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, April 20
12:34 AM

as usual, ang life talaga, parang buhay...

to all my avid readers (as if there are any):

this will most probably be my last post till may 12... *honestly, i can hear your sobs from all the way here* pero keep on checking... maybe i'll get a chance to go online... unfortunately, i can't bring my laptop, but my dad will be bringing his... hopefully i can use his to check my blog... i'll my miss my laptop... it has been my life ever since the start of my boooorrrring summer...

oh well... i hope you'll tag so i know who's been checking on me, and i'll leave you a message for sure... i'll terribly miss my blog... i'm an internet junkie devoid of a connection... ho-hum... at least there's much to do there to keep my mind off this blog...

did you notice the frequent use of the word blog? this is how much i love my blog... hrrmmm...

till next time

p.s. the title is "the fall of the rise" cause when i finally got the hang of blogging, i had to let go for it for a long time... so please bear with me... thanks..

being john malkovich

2004-04-20T00:55:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, April 20
3:56 PM

for a change, i'm up and at it this beautiful afternoon... not the usual early morning fuzz, but i'm hoping to keep up the pace... what pace you might say? it's getting the rush from your nutshell at the wee hours of the morning, your head bombarded with ideas whilst your eyes are fighting an epic battle, the fight against its own withdrawal, your body sensitive to every movement, every sound, 'cause the night is as still as a soldier engulfed in a battle for dear life...

yes, i am writing while the sun has suceeded in defeating the moon, only to lose to it moments after...

now, i am going to have a "random thoughts" sort of thing, only longer...

i've been watching movies for the last few days... simply because that's all there is to do... and for the past two days, i've seen two ashley and mary kate movies... whoever said that the best things in life happen only once have never seen the olsen twins... yup, you got it right... i've had a crush on them ever since their show on studio 23 years ago already... they're the millionaire twins who produce their own movies, star in their own plotless movies and shows, own a tween clothing line, and the list just keeps on going and going and going and... i think you get the picture... they're the uber successful twins with a face and body to boot... yup, i love the olsen twins..

but there's just one problem... i don't know who's mary kate and who's ashley... i've tried my best to decipher the twin thing they've got going on, and i've failed miserably... good thing their identical twins, it's like an ukay-ukay promo, buy 1 get 1...

then there's george michael... for those whose memories are limited to the new millenium, he's the... uhm.. how do i put it... stab me if i'm wrong, but he's the jamiroquai (did i get the spelling right?) of the eighties... or at least that's what i think... i bet your asking, why waste your creative juices on a pathetic singer stuck in the eighties and bound to stay their for the rest of his life? cause he reminds me of my michael jackson, the great king of pop... nope, he's not half as good as mj, but he freaks me out as much as the king (much like the philippines' own king... ;p)... he looks like another pedophile...

i don't know if it's just me, but he's way creepy...

yet again, i was surfing... no you nincompoop... the tv... haven't you read any of my posts? then go ahead and scroll down... moving on... i saw this old colored film on cable, and it was about those war-hungry greeks... and thank goodness i lived in this century... can you juist imagine!?! they were wearing these really, i mean really short togas, and you have a great view of their underwear... talk about being conservative... who would want to flaunt their private assets for the whole world to see? i know i'm overreacting, but i'm pinoy... and the maria clara culture of the philippines makes it pretty unusual for us to see this kind of stuff... the greeks have contributed to just about any field of knowledge... but i know something that makes me a notch greater than them... one word: pants...

their toga hardly covers anything...talk about exposure, half the torso and the pelvic area... thats just about it... seems like their boots cover a larger area than the toga... oh well... long gone is the time of the greeks' control on our world... they're just building ships and making gyros... poor them... lucky us...

lastly *i hear some sighs of relief... pardon the long post, head's going to explode*, i just have to tell you to watch interstate 60... it's take on life is pretty simple... to quote bryan, "destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice..." it's a must-watch...

till next time...

p.s. this post is entitled being john malkovich, cause much like the movie, you get a sneak preview of my nutshell spilling with crazy ideas and senseless shananigans...

a sniff, a snort, and half a sob

2004-04-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, April 20
1:21 AM

hay... as usual... ang life, para talagang buhay...

my attempt at getting my biological clock to work properly has officially failed... big time... to tell you the truth, it got even worse...

it was 6 in the morning, and i told myself that i'd not get any sleep... maybe it'll make my body crave for some shut eye earlier than the usual 5 in the morning... but, due to lack of proper brain activity, commonly referred to as STUPIDITY, my big experiment failed... of all the places to wait for the sun's rays to peek through the smog, i mean clouds, i just had to do it in bed... oh stupid me... and yes, you guessed it... before i knew it, the clock read 12... oh well... i told myself that at least i ended up getting my ass off the bed earlier...

as any normal being who just woke up would do, i turned the tv on... what else is there to do but get your mind bombarded with the crappiest stuff on the boob tube, shows that'll use up your brain cells for absolutely no worth... but lady luck held some grudges against me... my body revolted and my eyes just opened up to the sounds of someone moving around my room... turns out, it was already 5 in the afternoon... oh well... i know, i know... it's just a matter of mind over matter, but when your mind is in need of a good sleep, matters don't matter anymore... got that? : )

anyhow, i'd rather not bore you with my sleeping habits... i've talked bout them non-stop already... let's talk bout something that matters...

*academy awards mood is on*

i'd like to thank, sniff, all those who have supported me... all those who've made me stronger... sniff, sniff... all those who made me feel, sob, uhhmm, well, important... snooooooooorrrrrrrrtttttttttt..... i'd like to thank you all... i love you all! i'd like to thank, sob, sniff, snort, all those who've tagged... buhuhuhu...

*the mood is off already, no snot thankfully...*

in short, thanks to all those who, as paulo would put it, whiled their time away to read my blog...

confessions of a cdd patient (go ahead and read...)

2004-04-18T09:42:00.000-07:00

Monday, April 19
12:47 AM

i've been wondering for several days why the time on my posts never seem to be right... so i've decided to put the right date and time before any of my blogs...

i woke up yesterday at around 4 in the afternoon... as usual, got the usual "json, this, json that" from my mom... oh well... what's new?

anyhow... something freaky happened a while ago... we were just leaving starbucks (we, meaning my family and i... yup, you read it right...) when we got into another one of my parents endless rants; a.k.a. family discussions... and i got the weirdest feeling that they read my previous post (see: of insomnia, my mom, normal, and BORA BORA)... they were telling me how i most probably slept late to get away from household chores... i have the strangest feeling that they'll be reading this one tomorrow... talk about creepy...

anyhow... the moment i woke up, my mom was telling me that i needed to prepare for our trip already... this early? yup... i usually prepare hours before a trip, and this one was way, way before the trip... i remember, the last time we went to the USA, i finished packing my bags about 2 hours before we left for the airport...

but i realized something from all the ruckus a while ago... i need a wardrobe overhaul! oh yeah, you must think that i'm some kind of nut... who needs a wardrobe overhaul? but mind you, i 've been infected with cdd... a psychological sickness suffered by patients after a long period of separation from worthy establishments and a huge amount of dough... i have a clothing deficit disorder... yes, guilty as charged... i have officially labeled myself a freak of nature... well, thanks anyway...

yes... i have been obsessed with my clothes ever since that fateful day... the day i found myself amused by everything related with clothes... labo... anyhow... i have been thinking bout clothes ever since the end of the school year... diba migs? :) college means a new frontier, one full of so much stuff... so you definitely have to splurge on clothes... wooooww... connection please? hay... ang labo nanaman... hahaha... cge json, laugh with yourself... or this might be more appropriate... laugh at yourself... poor me... i've been thinking of ways to cough up some dough... and so far, i've come up with none... well, the best idea i've conjured: abuse the little plastic card known to me as my salvation and to most of you as the credit card... not mine, my dad's... i don't have one yet , pero wait till i get my hands on one... oh well... guess my brain's in a state of rest right now...

OMG! this post is beginning to sound like a part of miguel's blog! better change the topic...

hay... life talaga... parang buhay...

maya-maya i'll be back na lang... running out of ideas... i need another glass of a venti raspberry tea frap! argh...

of insomnia, my mom, normal, and BORA BORA...

2004-04-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

ok... so you're thinking, what's with this guy? is his some kind of insomniac? or maybe he's a vampire bound on turning each and every single human being on earth into one of his kind... way freaky... way, way freaky...

nope... i have officially disoriented my biological clock... i sleep at 5 (take note: in the morning, as in the time most people actually wake up...) and wake up at around 5... my mom's not very happy with that, and she keeps on insisting that i sleep earlier, 'cause it's not normal... what's normal anyway? it's like your faith, you choose to believe what you want to believe... so you describe normal as you see it... anyhow, 'nough said bout that...

as i was saying... i can't get myself to sleep early... it kind of freaks me out to, but i'm hoping to reset my biological clock and set it to a "normal" time... one that hopefully agrees with my mom... i'm beginning to think that she wants something done thats why she keeps on insisting... moving on... ho-hum...

i've been reading a lot 'bout bora-bora... they have nothing but praises for this so-called paradise that i've never even seen... until that fateful day... i was surfing, nope, not the net, nor am i riding a wave, but i'm looking for something interesting on the boob tube... then... i just had to stop... there was the paradise they were talking bout... i didn't know it was bora bora at first, but man! it was simply heavenly... pristine blue waters, fine white sand, lovely shorelines, a private hut conected to several others, spanning out into the great crimean abyss... it was simply breath-taking... my eyes were glued to the t.v., and i just wished that it would transform into some sort of magical opening, like the weasley's fireplace... and sweep me off my feet and take me to bora bora... how i wish...

bora bora's found in some part of the pacific *or at least that's what i think*... imaagine! to get to your hut, you'd have to ride on a little bangka... tapos your food would also be brought to you on a boat, fresh! the people were very intimate, they were really hands on when it comes to service... it was the sleepy destination i've been hoping for, one where all you worried 'bout is getting a good tan... what more could you ask for... it's my ultimate dream hotspot...

then, the good heavens fell... turns out, you'd have to cough up six hundred whoopin' dollars a night! can you just imagine!?! ugh... oh well... as bernadette sembrano used to put it, "libre ang mangarap" or was it someone else? ah basta... i'll just keep on dreaming, and maybe, just maybe, i'll drift off to bora bora... it'll just have to wait till i get a million bucks... oh well...

to blog or not to blog...

2004-04-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

hai... buuuuuhay talaga, parang life...

i don't know what it is with blogs, but i find it really amusing to read them when i have nothing better to do... it's actually a choice between doing household chores against your own will or locking yourself up in your room... obvious choice... and since when did i do chores? not being snobbish or something, but json + chores = disaster...

i've been checking out some people's blogs and i've found some really good ones... consider this the low down of who's who in the blogworld... *woohh... now i'm coining my own words... what's next? me studying? ha! as if...*

1. jamie- well, when i discovered bout blogs, i had very limited resources... not so many had them anyway... but jamie's was definitely fun to read.. and mind you, it's not trashy at all... he has a way of expressing himself that would just amaze you... it leaves you lost for words... well maybe i'm exaggerating a bit, pero jamie's blog is quite a read.. and he never fails to give his posts a little piece of his mind (i mean that in a good way), some words to live by...

2. leo glenn- it's a well known fact that leo's really, i mean really good when it comes to english... so it's not a surprise that he writes well... it's mostly bout his life... an autobiography of sorts... he expresses himself in such a good way, it's hard not to take notice... keep on doing such a great job leo... though i know he's in the states right now... hope i can get in touch with him, para magkita kami...

3. jobel- first of all, i just have to say that i think james is a much better name, its so damn cool for a girl to have that name! aun, ala lang... actually, i just discovered her blog this day, while i was reading jamie's... if her blog was a book, it was definitely a page-turner... a mild-jessica-zafra-meets-a-sweet-valley-high-girl... you got that? hehehe... labo... basta... it's a must read for anyone who's into blogs...

there's the top three... guys, wag lalaki ang ulo! hehehe... joke lang... pero kidding aside... i just have to state my piece... for those who create blogs full of trash and nonsense... get a life! stop putting us to sleep... it's worse than a bottle of sleeping pills... even worse than a certain earth-science-turned-advanced-biology teacher that i know of... you know who i'm talking about... and as for those who write crappy stuff, i'll give you a peso... go find someone with the same i.q. as you... at least you have someone to talk to at the same obnoxious wavelength...

friend...

2004-04-15T11:31:00.000-07:00

when i look at you, i see something else
i see a beauty that never was...
when i gaze upon you, i see something i never saw before
i end up with questions nobody can answer...

when our eyes would meet, something was different
i see a spark that never was there...
when your fingers cross mine, something else happened
i feel a tingle as electricity flows through our hands...

when i tell you i love you, my heart skips a different beat
i just get weak, i lose my thoughts, i'm lost for words...
when you tell me you love me, i'd never let our eyes meet
i can't let you see the way you bring me to tears...

what was my biggest mistake?
i fell in love with my friend...

a little something i had 2 say... i just had to say it..

salamat pla m nd omar 4 bein der...

2day was just great! thanx...

2004-04-15T05:41:00.000-07:00

hei... first official post...

today started out as just an ordinary day... well... di pa nga sya ok... had 2 wake up at 8... had only 6 hrs of my usual 12... can you just imagine? had 2 wake up at 8 to go to dlsu... since i'll be leaving for the st8s on april 21 and get back on may 11, i just had to have my early enrolment... to make things even worse, i'll miss my lpep(orientation for froshies, newbies, neophytes, and everything in between), but i learned that i'll have mine together with the comsci pips... sana cla momokath ung mksma ko... but the thing is, accdg 2 my ate, its the bonding session of the block... so... can u just imagine urself glued to your seat on the first day of classes, not knowing a single face? *beginning of sarcastic tone* lucky me, i don't have to imagine... *end of sarcastic tone*

pero ok lang, that's the payment for three great weeks i'll be spending in the st8s... i'll miss u guys!

tapos aun n nga.. my mom and i were waiting for my ate sa mcdo... tapos i told her na mgbobowling kmi ng friends ko... sa metromall... i was surprised kc she actually allowed me to go... i was expecting some scolding, pero it turned out, she even gave me some money... lov u ma! bwahahahaha....

though i felt guilty for leaving my mom, i comforted myself in the thought of spending some time with my friends...and besides, she just had to w8 for like 30 minutes... kaia aun... rode the bus to get to metromall...

and there began my melancholy... can just imagine? i arrived 30 mins early! so i went around, and i felt so much pity for the people who even thought of putting up the establishment... if there were a hundred people inside the so-called mall, 95% would have to be the employees... and the rest? they were bummin' 'round, just like moi... ho-hum...

the text i was waiting for finally arrived... nanjan na raw cla... pero b4 that.. i just have to tell u the mis4tune i encountered.. turns out, my arcade pla dun s mall... at last! salvation from boredom... and they had time crisis 2! ultim8 fave arcade game... so without any qualms, bought my tokens... just my lucky day! 2 tokens get u 1 free... bought 4, had 6 tokens... tapos... aun... insertd a coing dun s 2nd player, sum1 kc was using the 1st... just my s2pid luck... cra pla... 5 pesos down d drain... tried my luck s marvel vs streetfighter... darn it... rants... rants... rants...

so aun n nga, jamie and pau were in the mall n nga... so i went to the 2nd floor, to Puyat Sports... wow... ako lng ang nttnging customer... and they were just turning on the air con, so it was like a giant oven there... tapos aun.. the two arrived... jamie and i played a warm up game... scored a measly.. uhmm... i'd rather not tell u... hehehe... we just talked while waiting for the rest...

tapos m and bevs, tapos after a few minutes, c omar... finally, complete na kmi.. we all played... ended up having a better score... an 88! picked up 2 spares and a strike! pero my score was lightyears away from omar's... hundred plus... can't remember exactly kung ano un, bsta it was amazing... he had so many slashes and x's on his board...

tapos, jamie wanted to play billiards... and play he did, but his wallet became a few pounds lighter... pano, nilibre nya kami... two tables pa.. lamat jamz!

aun... we went to sm on a jeep, at himala! omar coughed up 24 bucks... huwaw... nanlilibre rin pla 2ng lalaking 2... there's always a first... bwahahaha...

tpos kumain muna kmi s mcdo... kwn2han and stuff... tpos we watched "masikip sa dibdib: the boobita rose story" (or sumthin lyk dat... ;p) aun.. twanan... pero shallow ung plot, characters were transparent... pero we had some good laughs... the best part was laughing with good ol' friends... thanx guys... ;p

dats just about it... call it mababaw, pero i had a really good time...

till next time...

is this really is it!?!

2004-04-13T04:11:00.000-07:00

bwahahaha... jamie, the beloved president of the master crammer's society, i am very sorry for failing you... i have done something which is not in the natural order of things... i've broken the rule("do as little as you can)...

kidding aside...

i have successfully made the unimaginable... i've created my own blog! and the crowd goes wild!! applause, applause! i am proud to say that i've finally done something worthwhile (if you may call it that) this summer... it's one giant leap for moi... forgive the pathetic ranting, but i am surprised by my own feat. this will be the start of a new beginning... got it? ;p

till next time... bye folks...

general nuisance here....

2004-04-13T01:40:00.000-07:00

hello earthlings! i am in a quest for the very admirable position of general nuisance... anyone who knows how to make my quest easier is welcome to help... heck! anybody's welcome... wanna be like me? just tell me...

2004-04-13T01:31:00.000-07:00

testing.. testing... what's it to you?